You’re way too messy, she’s too neat, and you are moving in together!

Most of us reading this will probably be rolling our eyes and groaning because we know a particular woman….or because WE are that confident. Don’t worry; the struggle is real but so are the many different ways we can deal with it.

Here are five tips that I hope will help if you and your partner are posterdykes for this topic:

Try it on for size first.

That’s right, don’t you dare do that second date U-Haul thing then find yourself saying what the WHAAAAT?”

I say you spend a lot of time at her place to see and determine how you move forward—not a couple of hours hanging out but a long weekend, several long weekends. See, most people will make an effort to clean the house for a guest; but when this guest becomes someone who’s almost always there, then they feel more comfortable with you seeing the place in disarray. In today’s world, the modern woman has a busy ass life; she doesn’t have time to stay home and dust, wipe, and clean daily. She grabs her handbag and mobile and dashes out the door early in the morning. Several hours later, she drags herself back through the door post rush hour traffic and crashes instantly.

On weekends she just wants fun or does not do anything and just lazes around in her PJs, eating takeout and Netflixing. So you can see how cleaning might be off the to-do list altogether. If you live a similar life, it’s easier to understand; if you don’t, try to understand. Maybe tidying up together is more fun because two hands are better than one, and the work will be done faster. On the other hand, you’re probably not about to help clean up a mess you didn’t make. That’s ok, too, as long as you’re honest. Remember, you probably can’t change her and if you try, then the relationship goes.

Don’t just clean up after her all the time!

I say this because I’ve done this and still do it sometimes. If you’re a neat person, then you get it. Sometimes it’s easier to clean the apartment when she’s not there. Rearrange her closet, vacuum the poor carpet that’s so dirty it’s coughing up hairballs. OMG, was that a film of dust on TV? All this time, you simply thought the video quality of Stranger Things was poor! But let’s face it if we keep doing it because it’s easier before we know it, it will be a thing. You’ll just be the one who cleans up and she’ll be the one who……well, she’ll be the one who lets you clean up. If this whole love, sex and relationship thing is really about a compromise, then she should be a willing participant. She should at least try, even if she doesn’t want to.

Don’t go all Sheldon Cooper whenever she leaves a couch cushion positioned the wrong way!

Picture this: She gets up to fetch more popcorn, and you immediately put the cushion back as it was before she sat down. One of her fuzzy house shoes is lying on the other, so you quickly put them side by side. Oh, and don’t forget to straighten those coasters; you can’t have that bottle of beer touching the coffee table. Annoying, right? OCD is a thing. I know this, but be careful not to become overbearing. You’re going to be living together, and she will notice this. Maybe she will call you her beautiful OCD-Sheldon Cooper-meets-Monk wife and laugh about it. Perhaps she won’t make a big deal, but secretly she wishes you’d not do that constantly. Or she could just blow up and tell you she’s pleased to keep living separately. Zats no good, zats no good at all!

The moral of this article is? Let your woman be messy sometimes; after all, a little mess hasn’t never hurt nobody. Right? Seriously I’m asking; I wouldn’t know. *loudly whispers* I’m a neat freak!

You both MUST make an effort to compromise…. I know (insert eye roll), but do it for love.

I hope that’s self-explanatory. You both try to do better; it shouldn’t be hard if you want to live with your partner. For example, tell her when she does great at keeping things in order. You tell her when it’s the opposite, so why not? In the same way, she should tell you how much she appreciates you being so great about not having the house spic-and-span 24/7.

Now that’s what I call doing it for love.

A messy house is always better than a messy relationship.

True dat. It’s not worth arguing constantly or ruining your relationship over. Designate a time to clean, a time when you’re not both tired and run down. The few precious hours before another gruelling work week is probably not the best time. I always feel better about cleaning when I have another day to spare, another day to hang out with my partner and just be. If you can afford it, perhaps hiring a cleaning person once a week is a great solution.

All of this is a life together without kids or pets; comment if you’d like to read more about The Big Move-In with babies and fur babies.