A useful guide on what to do – and also what not to do – to make your relationship last a lifetime.

When you have a sex and marriage guide co-written by a lesbian couple who are the not only award-winning best-selling authors, but also life coaches and relationship experts, AND they’ve been together for 28 years – you can be pretty assured you’re getting the good oil on how to make your relationship last.

Lesbian Marriage: A Sex Survival Kit by Kim Chernin and Renate Stendhal is divided into 12 “challenges” that regularly come up in long term relationships, focusing on some of the more specific issues that are prevalent when it’s two women in the relationship. And while the title states “Lesbian Marriage”, any of us in long term committed relationships could benefit from the advice and hints within this easy-to-read guide.

Each “challenge” is a stand-alone chapter and covers topics ranging from ‘Butch and Femme – the Habits of Roles’ to ‘You Always, I Never – Grudges and Bed Death’, ‘In the Ring – Fighting Fairly’ and ‘To Sex or Not to Sex’. The challenges come with examples from the authors themselves, or real conversations between their friends or clients, and a handy list of Do’s and Don’ts to navigate your way through conflicts that may arise.

The authors treat each conversation and conflict with respect and honesty and, among other topics, discuss how you could approach dealing with a partner’s infidelity, menopause or mismatched libidos and that honesty and truthfulness can be the greatest turn-on of all. There are easy activities to complete and space for ‘Notes, Scribbles and Doodles’ as the book is designed to be very much an interactive tool, not just one you read and then pop on the bookshelf to gather dust while you and your wife/partner proceed to forget everything you learnt from it!

At this point, it would be remiss not to mention the illustrator, Joey Hachtman, whose gorgeous drawings of sassy, sexy and often stressed women of all shapes and sizes gave warmth and a touch of fun to some serious issues and conflicts and helped to remind that even the most gruesome of relationship gremlins can often be overcome with love, understanding and open communication.