Sex advice from a lesbian psychic.

Complacency is a silent killer.  Its danger lies in its ability to creep into a relationship undetected, creating distance between two people that at some point can become too vast to bridge. Being a psychic medium, I have more clients that come to me for clarity about relationships than for any other reason. And, I have found, in my experience, the number one reason for relationships breaking apart is complacency.

If we look back at the beginning of our relationship, it felt exciting. We didn’t have any issues finding things to talk about. We craved each other.  We wanted each other. We understood each other.  We shared things. We laughed together. We cried together. We touched each other, and it was electric. So, where have all the butterflies gone?

Life happens. We get busy. We get distracted and preoccupied with other things. And, sometimes, we let our love slowly slip away. There is mutual neglect. We get tired. We put things off. Until one day, we want to be desired again as we once were. Perhaps receiving attention from someone else reveals what has been lacking in our own relationship. Perhaps our own dissatisfaction and unhappiness is what’s most revealing. 

We’ve all, at some point in our life, fallen prey to complacency, whether it’s in our careers, in our relationships or in life in general. But, what I have learned as a psychic medium and even more deeply in my own life, death by complacency is completely preventable. 

Complacency can lead to a lack of appreciation, feeling that our partner no longer sees what we do for her, no longer celebrates our achievements, no longer makes us feel understood. There’s nothing that creates more distance between two people than this.  But, is it possible, if not probable that our partner feels the same way? When was the last time we thanked her for something or got excited for her when she overcame an obstacle or accomplished something meaningful? I’ve found that gratitude is one of the most effective tools in overcoming complacency.

Let’s talk about sex, baby! Lack of touch and intimacy (verbal and physical) tend to be the biggest symptoms of relationship issues. When was the last time we looked into our partner’s eyes for more than a passing glance? How often do we wrap our arms around each other? How often do we kiss passionately? When was the last time we had sex? Did it feel like a chore, or did we make love because we wanted each other? 

Touch is powerful. If intimacy has been neglected, there are a few things we can do to make our partners feel desired again. We can put our hand on the small of her back and kiss her like we did when we first met. Touch her face and tell her we love her. Pull her into the bedroom and have sex like we can’t get enough. Show her she’s wanted, desired.  Bring some excitement into life again.

And finally, laugh a lot. Laughter has an astonishing ability to help us feel better in general, but when laughter is shared, it’s also an amazing way to bring two people together.  We should take as many opportunities as possible to do things with our partner that are fun. Remind her of the moments we’ve shared that made us laugh so hard we could cry. Watch funny movies. Watch raunchy comedy shows. Play funny games.  Laugh, laugh, laugh! 

From what I’ve learned working with my clients, we have the ability to change things in our relationship. If we take the time to show our partner we love and appreciate her, that she’s desirable and wanted and if we find fun together in life, we are sure to kick-start our relationship again and send complacency packing. And, maybe one day we’ll look into our partner’s eyes, kiss her, and feel those butterflies in our stomach again.