So, just for the record; I don’t really like to RUN. I love walking, I love climbing mountains, I love swimming and cycling but running… blergh!

BUT…

I have decided to start dating ‘Running.’ We are just taking things slow, a couple of dates a week, not too far, never home very late and I always walk myself to the door.

Tonight, as I dressed for my date with ‘Running’ and opened the door I saw the rain, (this isn’t common in Queensland, Australia), part of me (a large part) thought “hooray, the date is cancelled!”, but, then thinking about how Running would feel if I bailed at the last minute, I decided to go in the rain,  I’d be getting wet with sweat anyway.
So I did.

I discovered Running and I had some things in common. Running is a stickybeak too.

Some of our observations whilst on our date:

1. I know the smell of a boiling potato
2. It’s fun to pretend puddles are land mines and jump over them
3. The smell of freshly mowed grass and rain is refreshing and reminds me of being a kid
4. If you talk to the kids playing on the street they think you are strange. (I’m glad I didn’t offer them candy)
5. Some guys think I can run so fast they have to do big loud takeoffs in their car just to catch me. I am super fast.
6. Some people don’t realise I know the smell of weed.
7. You can say “I’m going to die” out loud over and over whilst Running and still live.
8. Some girls who run smell like flowers and candy floss. I don’t.

9. Shorty shorts are not fun on these kinds of dates, because you meet “Wedgie” and she is so stuck up.
10. Sneaking out of the bushes to scare the kids at the park isn’t funny. Their mum told me so.

Arriving home I fumbled with the key to get inside my house. I was hot and wet, ‘Running’ was breathing fast and heavily in my ear, my heart racing and my body shaking…. I’d never felt so alive!

I may not have liked ‘Running’ at the start, but as I get to know her I’ve realised that ‘Running’ is related to ‘Outdoors’. So I’m kind of intrigued………

Date 2 – Dating update with Running.

So, I didn’t hear from Running all weekend. I guess it’s just the dating game, I didn’t really think about her anyway,I was busy hanging out with ‘Fishing’ and ‘Weights’. Those girls are so much fun.

Anyway, Monday morning comes along and Running calls. She wanted to know if I wanted to join her at the beach. Thinking quickly, my mind flooded with reasons why I couldn’t go. However, I know how much I loved the feeling after we hung out last time and to be honest she made my body ache for days after our last date, so I was kind of excited to feel that again.

I didn’t do my hair. I wanted Running to take me as I am. I did wear a bra though. For some reason whenever I hang out with Running I have to wear a bra. It hurts otherwise. She also insists. Bossy Boots Running.

So, we hit the beach and as the salted air hit my mouth I immediately felt like hot chips. Running was ready, she was eager to just take off, I was a little hesitant but I pictured that 6 pack (hers) and yelled to myself “RUNNNN” like I had seen a shark.

Today the land mines were big seaweed-covered rocks, I jumped them as high as my little 2ft legs would jump. I turned around and watched my footprints get eaten by the waves as though I’d never even been there. The feeling of anonymity was refreshing.

I played a game with Running, we ran so close to the sea line and as the white woollen waves crashed, we sprinted forward as though the water would burn us. ‘Running’ told me this was like her friend HIIT (High-Intensity Interval Training). I told her long names were for bogans.

As my lungs worked overtime and I felt I couldn’t hold a conversation anymore, I would just so happen to find an amazing shell at the same time. I’d stop and Running did too and together we looked at the shells, sometimes accidentally touching her hand whilst looking at an amazing shell, which was actually a dead crab.

I knew that being able to hold a conversation with Running was most important as she wanted to get to know me. Apparently, that keeps me “In the zone”, some “Fat burning zone”, but Running told me I don’t need to worry about that, I blushed but you couldn’t tell because my face was already beet red.

Date 3-  The honeymoon phase must be over.

Dear all,

Running stood me up. Fml.

I’m having a fling with weights today.

Junk said she might call in later……

xx

Date 4 – I cheated on Running.

Running called tonight and wanted to catch up.  I was so nervous as I knew I had to tell her I had cheated on her with my ex; ‘Junk’.

Running arrived, she was so fresh and happy and here I was plagued with guilt after my weekend backslide. I wasn’t looking forward to this at all. We set off and Running asked me what I’d been up to, you know what women are like when they ask those loaded, supposedly innocent “I was just asking” questions. Yeah?  Well, I was prepared.

My head was full of ‘Junk’ and why I went back to her, the guilty visions swirled in my head, my hand in her Cheezel box, her hard peanut M &M’s rolling around in my mouth, the sweetness of her taste and fizziness on my tongue – it overwhelmed me. I felt sick to my stomach at the guilty, pleasurable, thoughts.

I didn’t want to give Running the juicy details, however, I was honest with her, I explained that ‘Old Habits’ and ‘Excuses’ popped over on the weekend and I had let them in. I told her how we hung out all weekend and did all the things I thought I had broken off with. I explained that by Sunday night I was physically ill and ravished with guilt. I didn’t feel better for my backslide at all. I felt worse.

Running just listened and as we took it slow, she comforted me with her understanding, we went easy and enjoyed the sunset. She said just one simple line “Exes are Exes for a reason, we don’t ever get rid of a good thing”. Running doesn’t believe in worrying about yesterday, she is all about today. I like that. I’m not worrying about what I can’t change anymore, I’ve got too much to do in making things the best they can be.

Oh and we actually made it to first base and it got a little hot and sweaty………