We all secretly have a onesie…right?

I have a confession. In the back of my closet is one of the scariest articles of clothing you will likely ever encounter. It is made of purple fleece and it has foot holes with elastic cuffs and sleeves with matching elastic cuffs and a zipper that goes from the crotch to the neck. We call it the sack. It’s basically a sleeper for grown-ups but with no legs, only holes to put your feet through. I am 5’ tall and about 107 pounds. It makes me look like a deflated grape.

But when it’s cold and wet outside and I’ve had a long day, I love stripping off my clothes and zipping myself up into that awful thing. I’ve had it for years and I have finally accepted all of the ribbing I receive for wearing it. I just love that ragged thing. But I can only bear to wear it in front of immediate family members. I think I would actually pass out from embarrassment if even my little sister saw me in it.

So I was secretly very excited when I started seeing these onesies for grown-ups. And I finally – at the risk of making the sack terribly jealous – got my hands on one version of these not for kids sleeper/onesies. It’s called a ZOOOP. It is a one-piece get-up with arms and legs and a zipper that goes from the crotch all the way up through the hood. So you could actually lose yourself in it completely if you wanted to.

Mine’s turquoise and although I still won’t be wearing it out in public, I could definitely see going to the mailbox or greeting the cable guy at the door in it. And my family is thrilled to see it replace the sack. There’s nothing sad about the ZOOOP like there is about the sack. The ZOOOP says I like to be comfy instead of never wanting to leave my house again.

The fabric is referred to as terry by the company. But don’t think towel. Think more super soft, super cozy. It has a double set of pockets, front pouch pockets and side seam pockets. The fit is generous without being insanely oversized. The extra small fits me perfectly. And the cuffs at the wrists and ankles make you feel all tucked in without feeling all caged up.

The only thing I object to is the double zipper. There’s really no reason for it to zip open going upwards and the zipper at the bottom has a massive pull on it making you look as you have an extra appendage that is particularly of no interest to most of us gathered here!

Other than that, I love this crazy thing. My next one will be black for sure, you might even get me to wear that one on a plane, international flights only, of course, and I would change into it after take-off for sure. But it seems like it would be heavenly in fleece for long, chilly, and generally uncomfortable flights.