Nikki from the hit reality TV show, The Real L Word, answers our questions on coming out, her ex-husband and what it’s like to be a role model for the lesbian community…

On Marriage To Her Ex-Husband:

“I didn’t like cheating because my love affair was with a woman. In retrospect, how very selfish of me.”

On Coming Out:

“In college, I was in love with my roommate, but it was one of those things that you kept to yourself. After my affair, I knew I was gay, and I struggled for a year to come to terms with it, hurting my husband terribly with lies and deceit. I loved myself enough to live an honest life, and I loved his enough to let him go to do the same.”

On Role Models:

“It was 1997 when I came to terms with my sexuality, which is a different time than today. There were few role models, few ‘out’ musicians, actors, and TV personalities. There wasn’t much representation of many gay characters on television. Ellen hadn’t even come out yet.

If the scripted series, ‘THE L WORD,’ were on during the time I was struggling, it would have been so much easier to understand my feelings, to reconcile them sooner, to ask questions, to relate to someone’s story, to be less fearful of what it meant to be a gay woman.

I don’t define myself by my sexuality; it only happens to be one part of who I am, but a part that I am very proud of to this day.”