Listen and ask lots of questions, but don’t be an asshole, says Paris Lees.

Transgender people are just everywhere now, and, chances are, you probably know one. Or will do at some point. We’re here to stay. Now, I know you’re super polite and all, and I also happen to know that a lot of people who aren’t trans mean well when it comes to the trans people in their lives, but, honey, despite what your grandma may have told you at Christmas, it’s not the thought that counts.

We all need to start getting better at this sort of thing – just as our straight pals are in the process of learning how to be better allies, too.

Well, fear not, for who better to give you top tips on how to be a trans ally than me, Paris Lees, top of the trans pops? If this helpful guide doesn’t help you become the great trans ally you were always meant to be, nothing will. Here we go!

Listen

Pretty much every trans person I asked agreed that listening was THE most important thing you can do if you want to support trans people. I’m not saying that you have to listen to them rabbiting on the milk price (it’s cheaper than bottled water now, don’t you know), but when someone tells you something about how they feel as a trans person, take notes. They know more about it than you.

Don’t Be An Asshole

Like listening, this is just good advice in general. Ok, so you’re a bit surprised to learn that the hottie you were talking to on Dattch happens to be trans. If that freaks you out, fine, but that’s your issue, and certainly not an excuse to be rude. Back out politely, if you must. And don’t go around telling everyone that your new pal Rachel is trans – unless she wants you to. Don’t gossip about your new workmate because you think they “look” trans, whatever that means. Don’t ask someone if their tits/hair/genitals are “real”. Unless you’re already in a genitals-based relationship, in which case, probe away (and lucky you!).