The girls face another setback while desperately trying for a baby.

After the negative result in November 2012, Amber and I were disappointed (of course) As each month ticks over, we can’t help but feel that this might not ever happen for us. We do try to remain as positive as possible but it does get you down after more than three years of trying.

It seems to feel harder towards the end of the year, I guess it feels like a reminder that we are about to enter into a new year and we are STILL waiting to become parents. After the last negative result, we wondered if we should try again in December 2012. We figured since we didn’t really have any plans over Christmas that we would squeeze in one last attempt. I had been having my procedures around day 12-15 previously and worked out if my body did the same again it would be just before Christmas.

We rang Concept on day one and said yes we were going ahead with the cycle. They informed me that I would need to have a blood test on day 10 (which is usually when I have my first) I had this around the 19th of December. I was hoping that I would only need one more blood test and hopefully have the insemination on the weekend of the 22nd-23rd or maybe push it to Christmas Eve. I needed another blood test on the 21st to check my levels.

On Friday the 21st they informed me that I would need to come back on Sunday for yet another test. I thought hang on a minute! This is a little bit of a longer cycle already. I was beginning to worry that it would end up being on Christmas day or something crazy – well maybe it would be a good thing, A Christmas miracle maybe?

When we began at Concept both Amber and I are certain they mentioned that they were open every day if they needed to be. Neither of us remembers them saying they were closed over Christmas and Boxing day. On the 23rd when Concept called us with the results they informed me my levels were still low. They said to come in AGAIN on Christmas Eve but to prepare ourselves that they were not open on Christmas and Boxing day. I couldn’t believe it – it meant if my levels weren’t right on Christmas eve for the procedure, I would have to wait until the day after boxing day to have yet another blood test to see if I had missed my opportunity for the insemination. On Christmas Eve they rang to let me know that it wouldn’t be the day of the procedure and to wait until we had the results of the Thursday blood. I wondered why they hadn’t thought to tell us at the beginning of the cycle!

I couldn’t believe it. We had no idea it was closed on Christmas and Boxing day. It definitely made us feel a little anxious over the holiday period, wondering what my body was doing and thinking that more than likely I was going to ovulate before I could have the procedure. When we rang the nurse said my levels were a bit “meh”, I am guessing it meant it was up to us if we wanted to bother but it sounded like nobody was really that confident about the levels so we decided against going through with the procedure. We didn’t want to risk wasting the sperm and then if we got a negative result we would have been more annoyed that we pushed it with the levels anyway.

That made us feel pretty crappy for the remaining time of our work holidays. We were thankful that we were mostly kept busy by our friends and family, but still couldn’t believe our bad luck! Actually, we could believe it, in fact, we pretty much just expect it now.

We ended up being busy with my sister in hospital for her Birthday on the 30th of December. I actually spent a lot of the night of the 29th in Emergency with her reading children’s books in the kids emergency area. The poor thing spent her entire birthday in the hospital! We had a quiet night to celebrate the beginning of 2013 and relaxed until it was time to return to work.

The first week back at work was busy and emotionally draining with other issues coming our way, 2013 was already looking like it was going to be a rough ride.  We decided we might as well head straight into the next cycle and hope that if just one thing went right for 2013 – maybe it would be this pregnancy attempt! C’mon January 2013 – please be our month!