Straight friends, get ready to be envious…
I have a lot of hetero friends. I have even more hetero friends who are in relationships, and I can’t help but be thankful I don’t deal with what they deal with. From the toilet seat being left up to March Madness and sports events that take priority, to the quickie “wham bam thank you, ma’am,” I can’t help but conclude that being a lesbian is great.
To prove my point, here are 11 reasons why I think we are awesome:
1. Gender/Relationship Role
We’ve all heard the clichéd saying, “The man wears the pants in the relationship,” but when you’re a lesbian, you don’t have to worry about this! You can take turns wearing the pants, or better yet, share the pants-wearing responsibility in the relationship. Want equality in a relationship? Being a lesbian will give you that.
2. Communication
If I had a dollar for every time one of my girlfriends told me her boyfriend/husband just never listens or doesn’t share his feelings, I could buy myself a roundtrip to Vegas. Women are naturally more open to communicating and sharing, which makes the relationship somewhat easier. You know if there’s a problem, it isn’t because there’s a lack of communication. On the contrary, there might be too much communication. But, hey, who’s complaining? Listening and communication is the foundation of any strong relationship.
3. Easy Gifting
While guys are fairly easy to shop for, girls are easier. Not to mention, what you buy your girlfriend, you can also use. It’s a two-for-one deal. If you like that wool sweater from H&M, buy it for your girlfriend and you can share it!
4. Masturbation = Practice For Sex
When my guy friends tell me they’ve spent another evening with Palm-la Anderson because their girlfriends were “too tired,” or not in the mood, lesbian women can say they are masturbating to prepare and practice for great sex with their partners. Being attuned to your body can help you and your partner reach a new level of intimacy between the sheets.
5. Amazing Sex
So your girlfriend has been practising some moves, which leads to amazing sex. It’s the type of sex that keeps you wanting and craving more. On top of the practising, because women are more open emotionally, sex between two women is more than just sex. Not only is there the physical connection and attraction, but also the emotional connection that just makes reaching for your O even better. (Hint: Communication and emotions together equal great sex.)
6. Big Spoon, Little Spoon
Guys are generally larger than their girlfriends, and as a result, they are often the big spoon. But, when it’s two women together, both can take turns spooning the other. I, personally, like to be the big spoon, but I will never object to being the little spoon with my girlfriend.
7. Synchronized Periods
This is a great thing for women. It cuts period time in half; plus, you can both be “moody and emotional” together. I used to joke with my guy friends about their girlfriends’ periods. I’d tease them and ask how they were coping with “Shark Week,” and 99 per cent of the time, they would moan and grumble. Thankfully, with synchronized periods, “Shark Week” only comes once a month, and we share in each other’s pain.
8. Soft Skin
My girlfriend has many amazing features and qualities: She has a great personality; she’s smart and has a great laugh. But, one thing I love is how soft her skin is. I could run my fingers all over her body and just be mesmerized by the smoothness of it. Sure, guys can have smooth skin, but is it as smooth as a woman’s? Women just seem to naturally have better skin. Guys, next time you’re with your girlfriend, feel her skin and tell me I’m wrong!
9. BOOBS
Next to smooth skin, boobs are another great asset of women. If you admire your boobs as much as you admire your girlfriend’s boobs, that’s just boob paradise! Plus, saying boobs sounds a lot better than saying penis. Guys, am I right, or am I right?
10. Check Out Other Girls, Without Getting In Trouble
When a guy looks at another girl, hell freezes over. When a lesbian looks at another woman, it can be because her outfit is great, and we are taking note of that spring coat or dress she’s rockin’.
11. No Pregnancy Scares
If you missed your period as a lesbian, don’t worry; it’s probably just late.
See? Being a lesbian is great!