How to use your wardrobe to create a last-minute lesbiafied costume.
It’s Halloween and the party starts in T minus 4 hours. The night promises a bevy of hot toddies and hot ladies, but one problem: you have nothing to wear. So, what’s an enterprising lesbian to do in this situation? Try turning to your wardrobe to throw together a last-minute, but still hot, fashionable and sexy, lesbian costume. Here are five ideas to get you started!
The Double Agent
Most lesbians have a tie, button-up and vest in their closet. Grab yours to create the double agent costume. Slick back your hair, put on dark lipstick, dressy shoes, slacks, sunglasses and your million-dollar smile. Looking this suave you won’t have to trick the ladies into giving you a treat.
The Lumberjack
Put the plaid button-up you wore yesterday to festive use! Just add a white undershirt, a pair of worn jeans (ripped is better) and your Farmer Bill boots. Roll up your sleeves, throw on a beanie and put together a makeshift axe by taping together a paper towel roll for the handle and cardboard in the shape of the blade. Strong, sharp and loves strolls in nature—that’s you, irresistible.
The Siren
Looking for an excuse to split into that elegant red dress or your little black one collecting dust in the back of your closet? Well, there’s no time like the present—pull her out, along with your four-inch stilettos, smokey eyes and bright red lipstick. You’ll want to mark your territory, and red lips mark the spot.
The Athlete
Running shorts, jersey, tank top, headband—does this sound familiar? You can easily pull off the hot athlete by turning your workout clothes into your lestastic Halloween costume. Put on your shorts, a tank top or shirt with rolled-up sleeves, your tennis shoes and a headband. Turn your shirt into a Jersey. Grab a sharpie and write your last name on the back of your shirt along with your (phone) number. Paint black lines beneath your eyes to show that you like being on top (in and out of the bedroom).
Come out of the Closet
A double agent, lumberjack, siren, athlete — your lesbian wardrobe can create a fantastic costume this Halloween. However, if these suggestions aren’t striking your fancy, go direct and create a shirt that says, “I am a lesbian” on the front and “I am single”, on the back. And if you’re hoping for a grand slam instead of a home run, write on your face, “Kiss me, girls. I’m a lesbian.”
