Long-Lived Lesbian Love

3,825

Are we addicted to love?

A long-lived lesbian friend suggested that idea when we first were using chat rooms (about 1995), and I think it’s still true. My friend pointed out that no matter how intense or interesting a chat was, as soon as anyone mentioned a romantic or sexual relationship, everyone glommed onto that. A typical exchange on gay.com could go like this:

CutestDyke1: Just had an interview for grad school. Scary!

Coolgrrl35: How come?

CutestDyke1: Really want into the Ph.D program.

LAwoman: What program?

CutestDyke1: Social work. I’m studying lesbian communities & support systems.

Coolgirrl35: Lez communities in USA?

CutestDyke1: Canada and USA. Toronto, NYC. Also looking at trans support systems.

LAwoman: My new gf is a social worker.

Coolgrrl35: New gf??? J

LAwoman: 6 month anniversary today.

CutestDyke1: Cool! 😉 Tell her hi 4 me ((((((((HUGS)))))))))))

Coolgrrl35: J So happy for you!

Etc., etc.

I admit it: I too am instantly fascinated by stories of relationships, from struggles to successes. Maybe it’s because I hear much more about straight relationships than I do gay ones. But when I hear about two women getting together, staying together, or breaking up, I feel as if I’m getting insider information that might help me manage my own, um, affairs.

Recently I fell in love after nearly two years alone. This time, in my mid-50s, I’m happier and more secure than ever before. I keep thinking of that song by Barbara Higbie and Teresa Trull, “Lucky are We.” Having love and romance at the center of my emotional life again is refreshing and new, but also startling. I’m thrilled, but I still have the rest of a very busy life to handle. I have far more commitments and restrictions and obligations than I did when I was younger: is it fair to take on a new relationship? (Fair or not, I’m there.)

long lived lesbian curvemag

Having had the best Valentine’s weekend ever, and found the love of my life, I’m ready to spend the next couple of columns looking at lesbian love – especially love between long-lived lesbians. Are we a little *too* besotted by romance, or is it all good? How is love different at 60 or 80 than in our 20s and 30s?